Flowers in the Playpen
by clarajaninequinn
Summary: HIGHLY inappropriate and satirical Rugrats AU, M for severely sexual and suggestive content, THE BABIES ARE NOT BABIES IN THIS STORY if you're reading this it's probably too late
1. Didi's Vagina

One normal day Betty brought Phil &amp; Lil over to the Pickles house. She rang the little buzz sound doorbell. Didi spiky hair ass opened the door.

"OOOH HII BETTY," she said all excited. They took the babies over to the playpen where Tommy and Chuckie were already playing a fun game of suck Tommy's screwdriver.

Betty and Didi walked into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. Stu walked in all tired. "Hi Betty," he said.

Didi walked over to him all like "Stuu," and put her arms around him. "You should go work on your toys in the basement."

"Yeah okay," Stu said and stumbled down the stairs, he is just trashed all day. Then Betty and Didi went upstairs, the babies saw them from the playpen.

"Where is my mommy going with your mommy?" Lil asked Tommy.

"I don't know but it's probably grown up stuff, when I try to ask them they never answer, being an intelligent baby who can't speak English sucks."

Then Angelica walked over. "Hi dumb bitches," she said. Phil gasped.

"That's a bad word Angel-ee-ka," he said.

"I thought I heard Daddy use that word to talk about Susie's family," Lil said.

"No, that was 'niggers'" Phil corrected her.

"Shut up dumb babies, anyway do you want to learn about something really fun?" Angelica leaned down and tempted the babies by leveling with them.

"Like what?" Phil said curiously.

"You'll have to come with me to the bathroom to find out," Angelica said sneakily.

Chuckie walked in the way like the annoying shit he is. "I don't think that's a good idea," he said.

"Shut the fuck up Chuckie," said Phil as he opened the playpen with Tommy's screwdriver and walked away with Angelica. Then Lil realized she was really hungry.

"I'm hungry," Lil complained. "Where is mommy?"

"She went upstairs with my mommy remember?" Tommy said all condescendingly.

"Okay I'm gonna go up and ask for cookies." Lil walked out of the playpen leaving Tommy and Chuckie to be gay again.

Meanwhile in the bathroom Angelica and Phil had just locked the door. "Pull your pants down Phil," Angelica ordered him.

"Are we peeing on the floor? Because I do that every day, I don't give a shit," Phil retorted as he pulled his little green shorts down.

"No," Angelica said coquettishly. "This." She advanced toward Phil and knelt down before him, then swiftly removed his diaper with her mouth. Phil didn't know what to do when she suddenly put her mouth over his pee-pee. But it felt hella nice.

Meanwhile Lil finally made it up the stairs, it took a while because she's a fucking baby. She crawled around looking for her mother until she found an ajar door and heard voices on the other side. She pushed it open and saw something completely surprising. Her mommy was naked, on top of Didi Pickles. This was right after Dil was born so Didi's cunt was kinda stretched out, and even more because Betty's entire fist was inside of it.

Lil was confused, but excited. This reminded her of that feeling she had when she was in the bath and put her crotch right near the faucet. She had to explore these feelings.


	2. Black People

Lil went back down to the playpen with her head spinning, she knew she could never tell anyone about what she just saw.

"Did you get some cookies Lil?" Tommy asked with that pretentious faux-sympathy.

"I want a cookies now," said Chuckie because he's retarded.

"No um, I just sucked my mom's titty instead," she said freaking out for a second because she thought that sounded lesbo, but then she realized it was normal. Luckily Tommy and Chuckie were distracted by their friend of color walking in.

"What's up my niggas," Susie said.

"Hi Suuuusie," said Chuckie, immediately getting a boner.

Lil opened her mouth to speak but instead just moaned, because she saw Susie's succulent brown lips and cute nappy hair, God she wanted to ride her like Spike.

"Did you just say something Lil?" Tommy asked.

"Um Susie can I talk to you for a second?" Lil stammered.

"Yeah sure ho," Susie said, they walked away ditching Tommy and Chuckie yet again because they are the least interesting characters for now.

Meanwhile in the bathroom Phil was bout to bust a nut all over the chocolate stuck in Angelica's teeth. Then she suddenly stopped, and smiled like a little bitch.

"You want to try something even more fun Phil?" she asked, reaching at her dress.

"Uhhh okay," Phil said, feeling more and more like Angelica's slave as she now controlled his dickie.

"Turn around and lean on the toilet, and stick your bum out" Angelica said with a crooked grin as she pulled Cynthia out of her pocket.

Meanwhile Lil and Susie were out on the sidewalk, where there were two more black boys ballin.

"These my niggas Edwin and Buster," Susie said. "They came out the same vagina as me."

All Lil could think about was Didi's vagina, and all of the visuals of the African-American babies' lips were not helping the situation. Luckily the silence was broken as Buster pulled a joint out of his pocket.

"Yo let's toke up," he said.

"I am the smart bookish brother but I like that shit anyway because stereotypes," Edwin took the joint and hit it. Then he passed it to Lil, she had never done shit like this before but she was so nervous she was willing to do anything to fit in.

Meanwhile Betty and Didi were still fucking vigorously, Didi was moaning loudly in her high pitched voice so she sounded like a chihuahua getting murdered. She was so loud that they couldn't hear Phil downstairs, who was screaming because his ass was getting brushed out by Cynthia's patches of hair. But he had never felt so excited before in his entire year of life.

At this point Lil was good and blazed, she and Susie sat on the sidewalk as Edwin and Buster continued to ball. She was high as fuck and could barely keep herself together. She couldn't stop staring at Susie who just looked bangin as fuck in that little yellow dress, it really made her sexy dark skin pop.

"Susie," Lil said hoarsely. "Can I tell you a secret?"

"I don't give a fuck bitch."

"I think… I like girls."

Susie looked at her, then took her hand. She led Lil to behind the dumpster next to the Pickles' house, then pulled her in close and stuck her tongue down the little white girl's throat. "You like that bitch?" Susie said. Lil's pussy was frothing out of control, this was going too fast. Suddenly not only was she a lesbian but she was going black. Susie grabbed her oopsie through her dress and diaper, and Lil moaned like an old cat. Susie got on her knees to start going down on her, but as she knelt Lil could now see the window behind her, it was the window to the bathroom.

She saw Phil doubled over the toilet, at first she thought he was just eating poopies again, but then she saw Cynthia with her dress all smeared with shit, sticking halfway out of her brother's booty hole.

"PHILLIP!" she screamed.


	3. Her

Now everything was really awkward, Lil had seen Phil getting rammed by Cynthia and Phil saw Lil with a chocolate girl on her gooch. Susie got up when she heard Lil screaming and realized it wasn't from her well-practiced mouthwork and saw what was going on, she glanced at Angelica and gave her the 'conference time' signal and then led Lil back inside.

"Come, baby slave," Angelica commanded Phil as she pulled Cynthia out. Phil was about to run out of the bathroom with his diapey still off, that dumb shit.

"Pull your diaper up you disgusting piece of shit," Angelica spat at him. Phil felt emasculated but this was a new tingly feeling, he knew he deserved it all.

Angelica led Phil to the playpen where Susie and Lil had also just arrived from outside. Angelica glared at Tommy and Chuckie who were still just sitting there. "Alright babies, time to make like my poopies and get the fuck out."

Tommy furrowed his eyebrows defiantly. "This is my playpen Angelica, you can't make us leave."

"Yeah!" Chuckie said like the sheep he is.

"Oh my fucking God Chuckie get the fuck out of here, don't you have a mom in Paris to go find?" Angelica snapped.

Chuckie started crying like his nose was all stuffy, like he always did. Tommy followed him to comfort him like the gay faggot he is.

Upstairs, Didi and Betty were done fucking and were lying naked under the covers. Betty took a drag from a cigarette, her other arm around her lesbian lover. "Deeeeed," she dragged out. "Do you want to maybe get Howie in on this?"

"Howard? Oh, no, Betty, I don't even like men, whenever Stu thinks we're having sex I'm really just putting his dick in a bowl of potato casserole."

"But that's the thing, Deed… Howard doesn't have anything down there."

"What?

"He's not a man… he don't have no donger."

"Oh then… okay maybe," Didi frowned, then they started making out again.

Meanwhile, Angelica, Susie and the twins had assembled in the playpen.

"Alright now listen up babies," Angelica lectured Phil and Lil. "You are never going to tell ANYBODY about anything you did or saw today."

"Or what?" Phil said matter-of-factly.

Susie narrowed her eyes at him. "You don't want to cross my niggas," she hissed.

Lil remembered how defenseless and exposed she felt when she was out on the sidewalk with all of the black children and was suddenly very scared. But what was safe anymore? Her own brother liked to stick Cynthia up his asshole.

"I promise I won't never tell ANYBODY," Lil said firmly.

Phil nodded in agreement.

Right then the little buzz doorbell rang again. All of the adults in the building were engaging in rough lesbian sex or doing drugs in the basement so nobody came to get it for a while. But it kept ringing so eventually Stu stumbled up from the basement and opened the door. "What who are you," he said.

The woman at the door didn't pay attention to him, she just walked past him and called "Angelica?"

Lil turned to look at the woman and saw the most beautiful thing on Earth. Her lemon blonde hair was up in a scrunchy, curling a little bit. She was dressed in a business suit, with tart red lip stick on, against her china white skin. She was perfect, with the poise of a swan and the power of a lioness.

Lil needed to have her.

Lil needed to have Charlotte Pickles.


	4. Car Accident

All Lil knew anymore was that she needed to have her. She couldn't even think about Susie's hot tongue, or Didi's flapping cunt lips anymore. She needed to be at the mercy of the most commanding woman in the world; she had to have her, or even more, she had to be HAD by her. Lil couldn't sleep that night, she sat sweating all night as Phil snored on the other side of the crib, dreaming about Cynthia up his butthole.

When Lil woke up the next day she knew she had to go to her. She called her nigga Susie to give her a ride because Lil was too young to drive.

A few minutes later Lil got in the car, she sat in the back next to Susie. The tunes were pumpin and Buster was behind the wheel. Lil suddenly felt scared again, knowing Buster was probably under the influence. But this danger was all she knew now.

"What up bitch, you want some more goochie smoochies?" Susie said, sounding a little cracked out.

"That's okay Susie. Could you drop me off at Angel-ee-ka's?" Lil asked Buster.

"Okay fuck," Buster said but he was really high. He drove over to Angelica's house but he couldn't keep his eyes on the road, so he crashed right into the side of their house. Charlotte emerged from her study, outraged. Lil was so turned on even though shrapnel from the windshield was digging into her arm.

"JONATHAN!" Charlotte screamed, her eyes sexily popping out in anger. "GET THESE BABIES THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"

"Fuck nigga, bail!" Susie said in a hushed tone. They ran like hell even though Lil's pussy was leaking. She had to come back.

Meanwhile, Phil had just woke up. He stretched his arms and yawned, it was a beautiful morning. He looked to the opposite side of the crib and saw his sister. "Good morning Lillian," he said, having completely forgot about the ordeal of the day before, not even feeling the soreness of his ass from where Cynthia's hairs had scratched him.

A soft cackle came from the other side of the crib. "I'm not Lillian," it sneered. Phil rubbed his eyes and saw that indeed it was not Lil - it was Angelica. _Fuck, _he thought, his dick hardening.

The lights in the room were off now; it was dark and he could only see her. "You're not getting away now, slave," Angelica said menacingly. Phil suddenly realized that he was tied up to the crib, he couldn't move, his arms were bounded on either side. He was completely at Angelica's mercy.

"Please miss…" he whimpered, closing his eyes in fear and weakness.

He opened his eyes and it was all gone. He had been dreaming.

Elsewhere in the house, Betty and Howard were enjoying some coffee over the newspaper.

"So Howie, I think we can get in on this threesome with Deed," Betty explained to him enthusiastically.

"Uhh, are you sure?" Howie said, bewildered.

"Just pop a few more vicodin and you won't be nervous. You'll have fun, she loves assplay, she gets really freaky with that gold circly necklace."

Howard sighed exasperatedly, how long could this go on? He was raising two children that weren't his and living week to week on pitiful sexual encounters with his manatee of a wife and whatever drug-addicted whore she could catch in her web. His life was hell.

Meanwhile, Susie and her niggas swung by the pharmacy to pick up Angelica.

"Hey black babies, I bought some Robotussin and gummy worms, you ready to get fucked up?"

Susie turned around from the front seat and lowered her shades at Angelica. "We have some shit to talk through girl."

"Like what?"

"Like my dumbass brother rammed his car into lady Hitler's house this morning, and Lil was there. I think the cracker twins are getting nervous."

Angelica scoffed. "They should be nervous, Phil is only digging himself further and further into my trap."

"This is for real hoe, Edwin DIED in the crash this morning. The police gonna be after us soon, and you know what that means."

"Straight up," Buster interjected. "We gotta stay solid, and I think one those cracker twins gonna spill."

Angelica rolled her eyes and put her hands up. "Well hands up, the cops know I didn't shoot. Have fun getting shot by the police guys, I'm gonna go have white people fun." She got out the car.

Susie turned to Buster. "You know what we need to do." The Rugrats musical underscoring indicating trouble brewing played as Susie popped open the glove box and pulled out a gun.


	5. The Funeral

Lil woke up in a hospital bed, she was like "What the fuck?"

"It's okay Lil, you're fine now," said a comforting African-American voice from above her.

Her vision cleared and she could see it was Lucy Carmichael, Susie's mom. Her arm was hurting. "What happened?"

"Someone found you on the sidewalk passed out with blood gushing out of your arm, they called 911. Do you remember how this happened to you Lil?"

Lil thought for a second, it was hard for her to remember what had happened. Suddenly the car crash popped back into her memory. "I got in a car crash," she said.

"No, you didn't," Lucy said, smiling.

Lil looked at her confused. "I was in a car with Susie and her niggas and nigga behind the wheel was too high so he crashed into Angel-ee-ka's house."

"Lil, that never happened," said Lucy firmly.

"What you talking about, that's the last thing I remember."

Lucy came up to her really close and whispered, "Listen bitch, if you say a word about that car crash to anyone you will be losing a family member." She reached into her scrubs and pulled out a gun. "So you fell down and hurt your arm," she backed away from Lil and smiled again. "Okay? Now bye." She walked out of the hospital and dipped in Buster's car.

Lil sat in the hospital bed terrified. How many secrets were the black people hiding?

Meanwhile Betty and Howard were bringing Phil over to Tommy's house alone, they were kind of high on bath salts so they didn't even notice Lil was still gone. Howie rang the buzzy doorbell, it reminded him of the sound that he made when someone licked his empty crotch spot. Didi opened the door and suddenly he was very horny. He knew it would soon be time, but first they dropped Phil in the playpen.

"Hi Tommy, hi Chuckie," Phil said flatly, then he noticed that Tommy and Chuckie were still gone, probably in Paris. Nobody else was in the playpen, OR SO HE THOUGHT…

Just then Angelica emerged from behind the jack-in-the-box. "Hey slave," she said softly.

_Oh shit,_ Phil thought. He immediately felt powerless as the blood flew to his wee-wee. "Miss, I don't know if I…"

"You don't know anything, stupid baby… I will do all the knowing for us from now on." She pulled Cynthia out of her pocket and trailed her down Phil's crotch outside his diaper. Fuck, she was good.

"Yes, miss," Phil said robotically.

"I am now the most important person in your life," Angelica affirmed. "From now on you will answer to me, if you are hungry you ask me first, if you have to go doo doo you ask me first, and forget about ever touching that again," she said touching his dick with Cynthia again. Phil winced.

"Can I at least tell Lillian?" he said nervously.

"Forget about Lillian," Angelica spat. "She's a crazy bitch, don't listen to her anymore. Just think of yourself as an only child from now on."

Phil was scared, but realized she was right and it didn't really matter what happened to Lil. All that mattered was Angelica.

Meanwhile upstairs, things were getting frisky between Didi, Betty and Howard. Howard had always seen Didi in her red red dress, had always imagine what her spiky hair would feel like against him. Usually he was just Betty's bitch, mowing the lawn and doing all the chores as Betty had her way with club sluts, but maybe today he was gonna be the man. He advanced toward Didi, rubbing his lack of genitalia against her vagina, which was covered only by undies.

But then Didi made a face. "Uhh Betty," she said hesitantly. "Do you mind if we start this without Howie? I don't know how I feel about getting nasty with…" she glanced at Howie. "_A freak."_

Howie looked down, frowning. "That's alright dear, I'll just wait in the closet again," he said as he stepped in. This wasn't the first time he had been cucked, but he decided right then it would be the last.

Meanwhile Angelica was leading Phil down the sidewalk in a rope collar. Phil wanted to ask where they were going but he was afraid of how angry Mistress would be if he questioned her, so he just kept walking like a domesticated animal.

Suddenly, after a few minutes Angelica told him: "We're going to Edwin's funeral, you're gonna stand there and look sad and say nothing, trust me slave you need to make an appearance here today," she said tracing her finger across her neck. Phil's first thought was that she was gonna stick Cynthia down his throat and he immediately became erect.

They walked into the black people church and all of the Carmichaels were there dressed all nice. Phil felt dumpy-looking in his basic green shirt with a duck on it.

Over at the coffin, Lucy was lookin hella nice in a veiled black dress, she was crying. She whispered to Buster, "So you say you got this under control for real?"

"Yeah bitch," Buster said flashing her the gun tucked in his coat.

"Just make sure you don't leave until the service starts so that we have an alibi," Lucy told her children.

Susie narrowed her eyes. "Don't worry about it mommy," she said, and put her shades back on.

Meanwhile Lil left the hospital, she needed a ride home. She tried to call her nigga Susie but she didn't answer her phone. She thought about it, and figured now was her chance to take a shot. She dialed Charlotte Pickles's phone number.

Jonathan picked up on the other side. "This is the office of Charlotte Pickles!"

"Hey fag give the phone to her or another car is gonna come crashing through that wall, only it won't miss you this time." Lil didn't know what had come over her, but she knew that weakness was not the way to get this pussy. Jonathan whimpered like a fag on the other end and gave the phone to Charlotte.

"Charlotte Pickles," her voice sang elegantly, Lil was immediately turned on. "Hello?" Charlotte was getting impatient.

"Uh yes, this is Lil, can you come and pick me up at the hopspikal?"

"What?"

"The hotslipak."

"What?"

"The HAPSTIKAL."

Then Lil remembered she was a baby and nobody could understand her. She had to find another way.

Back at the black people church, everyone was sitting down for the funeral service to start. Phil sat in the back row, still with his rope collar on, with Angelica sitting next to him. He was finding it hard to pay attention.

Suddenly, the front door of the church busted open and twenty police officers ran in with guns. Everyone started screaming and shit. The lead officer, who was a fish named Officer Nancy, turned to Lucy Carmichael and yelled "Where the fuck is your children Susie and Buster?"

But Susie and Buster… was gone.


	6. Hands Up, Don't Shoot

Howie was still standing in the Pickles's closet, Didi and Betty had fallen asleep for a nap and forgotten he was there. He hated his life so much.

He decided he might as well leave, so he slipped past the sleeping lesbians silently and went downstairs. There was nobody home except Dil who was sitting in the high chair, I guess he had been there the whole time. Dil screeched at Howard, he was probably hungry or some shit. "Shut the fuck up Dil, nobody likes you."

He went outside, and was about to go home but felt like taking a detour first.

Meanwhile at the black church…

Everyone had they hands up, and Officer Nancy was still pointing her gun at Lucy. "If you don't tell me where the fuck your kids are in ten seconds I'm bout to blow someone's fucking face off."

"Woah, you should chill Officer Nancy," said Susie's Great Aunt T.

Nancy abruptly stuck her gun between Great Aunt T's boobs. "DID YOU SAY SOMETHING BITCH?"

Angelica and Phil were still sitting in the back row. "Shit this is getting heated, let's dip," Angelica yanked at Phil's rope collar and they slipped away under the cover of all the black people. Outside, Angelica looked for Buster's whip so they could hop it, but it was nowhere to be seen.

"Damn," Angelica said. "They're going ahead and doing it."

"What are they doing An-jelly-ka?" Phil asked her.

"_It," _Angelica said ominously.

Back at the DeVille house, Lil had just got back from the hospital and she was scheming on how to win Charlotte's heart. But how could she? Charlotte had everything and lived a perfect life, what could Lil possibly offer her? Lil was becoming a sad lesbian. All she could think about was that one moment, with Buster's car jammed into the side of Charlotte's house, if only Lil could do that to Charlotte's pussy.

As Lil continued to froth on these thoughts, two shadows crept in through the front door, and Lil didn't even notice. Suddenly her drooling mouth was gagged and she was blindfolded. After being banged around for a few seconds, the blindfold was taken off, and she was tied to a chair. Susie was in front of her.

"What the fuck Susie?"

"Listen, Lil. I know you in love with that Eva Braun bitch."

"I'm far too young to understand World War II references, Susie."

"The fuck ever. I'm just gonna tell you right now, you can't be with her. You can't be around her, you can't get close to her. She is _trouble."_

The last bit of happiness in Lil's heart was crushed. "But why?"

"Her ass called the cops on my little brother's funeral, they know we done crashed the car into her house and she is gonna destroy us."

"But Susie, Buster was operating under the influence, it's his own fault."

Susie slapped Lil across the face. "HOW DARE YOU BITCH, HOW FUCKING DARE YOU," she choked, holding back tears. "I told them you could be trusted, I tried to save you, but now I know you are WEAK. Buster get your ass in here!"

Buster entered from the kitchen, eating a cookie from the DeVille's pantry. He was holding a gun. Lil felt faint, she was about to die.

"Hands up, don't shoot," Lil whimpered, but her arms were tied back so she couldn't really put her hands up anyway.

Meanwhile Angelica and Phil were walking back toward the DeVilles' house, but then they heard a gunshot from inside. "Shit," Angelica said. "We're too late."

"What?" Phil said nervously.

"They must have got your sister, slave. I guess you really are an only child now," Angelica pulled out her cell phone and dialed 9-1-1.

Like 30 seconds before that, Lil was all fearing for her life and shit, but just then, Howard walked in the door. He had just got home from the pharmacy where he picked up some prescription meds to overdose, because he hated his life. But he couldn't, because when he walked in Buster freaked out so hard (also he was still hella high) that he turned and shot Howie right through the head. Lil screamed.

"Shit nigga, what did you do!" Susie screeched at Buster.

"Uhhhh I don't know," Buster stammered.

Before they could hide the body, Officer Nancy was pounding on the door. "OPEN THIS DOOR, I HAVE A GUN AND I'M NOT KIDDING."

"Hide the gun Buster," Susie hissed at him. Impulsively he stuck it up Howie's bleeding anus. Susie calmly threw a blanket over Lil and opened the door with a composed look on her face.

"Hello officer, I understand you heard a strange sound coming from this house, see poor Howard here walked in but was really tired so he fell over and hit the ground so hard that he-"

But before she could even finish, Buster had a bullet in his chest.

Susie was like shit, and threw her hands in the air. "Hands up don't shoot!" Officer Nancy put handcuffs around Susie and drove her to jail probably for life.

Then Angelica and Phil walked in and saw Howard and Buster's bodies, and heard Lil screaming from under the sheet.

Suddenly the sheet was pulled officer, and the first thing she saw was Angelica. An unmutable surge of freedom pulsed through her; her life had been saved, all because Angelica had called the police and said she heard a black person shoot a gun. Angelica was her savior. Angelica, who really looked very much like Charlotte, but was actually an attainable goal rather than a 40-something year old woman who was having a wild affair with her ethnic, effeminate secretary.

Lil wanted it all: she wanted Angelica's spit on her back, her cute little dress on the floor, and Cynthia inside of her deeper than she'd ever been inside of Phil.


	7. Cheaters and Lies

Now that the black kids and their gang shit were out of the picture, things seemed to get a little more back to normal for Lil. Except for her daddy was dead, Tommy and Chuckie were still gone for some reason, and her brother was getting rammed by Angelica several times a day.

She would sit in the playpen, stacking her blocks because she is a dyke, staring blankly forward as Angelica continually entered with a snack in her hand, seduced Phil and led him off to the bathroom or a closet. She was consumed with grief, even though her daddy was always kind of gross and one-note. Of course every time Angelica walked by Lil would immediately get a lady boner, but she knew that she couldn't get between Phil and Angelica. After all, he was her twin brother.

She had no idea that Phil had already let go of her.

Up in the master bedroom, Didi and Betty were naked and drinking forties as Betty cried into a pillow. Didi put her arm around Betty's shoulder. "You didn't need Howie anyway, Betty."

"I know, Didi," Betty choked, "he was just such a good bitch."

"You know I could be a better bitch than he ever was," Didi said flirtatiously.

This turned Betty on a lot, she jumped on Didi and they started scissoring.

Meanwhile down in the playpen, it had been two weeks that Phil and Angelica had been fucking and Lil couldn't handle it anymore. She needed to have Angelica, just once, she would do anything, give anything for it. Even though Phil was her homie from the womb, she realized that she could get what she needed without hurting Phil, and without messing up his d/s relationship.

She waited until that night and laced Phil's bedtime milk with tranquilizers from the recurring pharmacy that sells bad things to babies. Phil clocked the fuck out, and then she tied him to the crib so that he couldn't get out. She looked around for some paper and pencil so she could write him a note saying that Angelica did this and that she would be back to free him when she felt like it. But then Lil remembered that she couldn't write so she figured Phil would probably figure it out.

The next morning, Betty woke up hungover as shit and needed to scissor Didi some more right away just as Lil had expected, and when Phil refused to get up to come with them to the Pickles house, Betty just got impatient and left him there. Lil's vagina was already starting to froth - her plan was working perfectly. She ditched her bow in the car.

She waited patiently as Betty brought her inside, dropped her in the still-empty playpen, and went upstairs with Didi, which didn't take very long. For a moment Lil wondered about where the fuck Stu had been this whole time, and why he didn't care that his wife was being rammed by Betty. But her train of thought was cut off as the tantalizing beauty that was Angelica Pickles strutted into view.

Now was her time.

Angelica saw the baby from afar, and walked over seductively. "Hey there, what you up to?"

Lil threw her voice down. "Nothin', An-jelly-ka."

"Where's the other one today?" Angelica asked in a low voice, raising her eyebrow.

"She's home sick," Lil said, freaking out inside, praying this would work.

Angelica stared at her for a second. "All the better, that dyke makes it uncomfortable anyway." She promptly grabbed Lil by the wrist and started leading her away. Lil's heart was pounding. She had done it.

Back at the crib Phil was just starting to wake up, he noticed the bonds around his arms and thought he might be dreaming again. But that was hard to believe this time because he was getting hella fucking hard, he thought he might bust a nut just on how pathetic this situation was. Where had Phil's soul gone?

Upstairs Didi was riding the fuck out of Betty, trying to fuck her sadness away. Whereas before Betty had been quiet and unresponsive in her grief, now her walls were finally starting to crumble down, and she grunted with satisfaction as Didi bounced up and down. But Didi still had her Lipschitz-trained hearing, and the sound of their love-making wasn't enough to drown out the sound of loud footsteps coming upstairs. Didi gasped.

"Stu's coming," she whispered. She jumped off of Betty and grabbed her purple sweatshirt with the female symbol off the floor and threw it at her, Betty put it on hurriedly. Didi was super fucked up and she stumbled around the room putting various articles of clothing on, and was in the middle of haphazardly pulling on her red red dress when Stu stumbled into the room.

He was completely gone - probably flying on the meth Didi knew he was smoking in the basement - but not enough of an idiot not to see what was going on. "WHAT THE FUCK DEED?" he slurred. Betty and Didi looked at each other, horrified.

Down in the bathroom, Lil was having the most exhilarating moment of her life: Angelica was gripping her hair from behind her, holding Cynthia at her crotch and pumping her in and out of Lil's ass. Lil had been smart enough to only pull the diaper off her ass, so as not to reveal her lack of penis.

She was trying hard not to moan too femininely, but she was so caught up in the heat of the moment she almost didn't care. She had forgotten about Phil, forgotten about her dead father.

Suddenly Angelica pulled out. "Someone's here." She yanked Lil's diaper back up, and now Lil could also hear voices out in the kitchen. She followed Angelica out there.

"Lil!"

Abruptly there were two sets of arms around her - our favorite side characters Tommy and Chuckie were back. She didn't even remember that she was hiding her gender from Angelica.

"Where were you guys?"

"We went to Paris, to find Chuckie's new mom! Look, she's Chinese!" Tommy pointed at a very asian looking woman who was standing in the living room next to Chuckie's pussy dad.

"Actually Tommy, she's Japanese," Chuckie said pointedly.

"Jesus Christ Chuckie, I went on this whole trip and shit with you, calm your shit down it's starting to annoy me and I am the self-regarded saint character of this show."

But Lil wasn't listening, she had looked down from Chaz and his new Oriental beauty to a much shorter one, a little Asian girl with a yellow dress with a kitty's face on it.

Lil remembered how exciting it was to fuck a girl of another race. The little Asian girl was pefect.


	8. Chinese Slut

That day Lil could barely compose herself in the playpen, there was just way too much going on. All of her dreams had just come true, but now a new exotic challenge lay before her, prancing around like she maybe had autism but also hot as fuck. She also was still dealing with the fact that she stole Angelica from Phil, and even though Angelica went back to acting like her fuck ass bitch self like nothing had happened, Lil had a sneaking fear that the next time she was alone with Angelica she would get hurt worse than she ever wanted to be.

Also Tommy and Chuckie were just annoying as fuck so Lil decided she needed to dip, also she might as well untie Phil because the dirty had been done. So she went upstairs to cry or something to get her mommy to drive her home, but just as she was going up the stairs Stu was running down them crying like a bitch because his wife was a secret lesbian, and tripped over Lil's head because he wasn't looking. "FUCKING OW THAT HURT SO MUCH," Lil screamed, but he couldn't understand her because she's a baby. Even though he broke his ankle or something he just ran back down to the basement to do more drugs.

Lil had got a concussion or something from Stu's foot, but kept going up the stairs anyway because she is a dyke ass trooper, then when she got to the bedroom she saw from the still slightly ajar door that Betty and Didi were vigorously scissoring. "Already? What the shit mom," Lil said even though she was kind of turned on.

She went back downstairs and just walked out the door, pulling out her phone to call her nigga Susie for a ride, then she remembered Susie was in prison probably for life and Buster, who drove the car usually, was dead anyway, so she didn't have no one to call.

_Fuck, _Lil thought, and thought about just walking her ass home, but then she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"I knew it was you," a voice whispered in her ear.

Meanwhile back at the playpen, Kimi was learning how to play suck Tommy's screwdriver under Tommy and Chuckie's guidance.

"You gotta swirl your tongue around the tip, Kimi," Tommy advised her.

Kimi sucked the screwdriver with more intention.

"No teeth," Chuckie said with a shiver.

Kimi popped it out of her mouth. "I'm getting bored of this, Tommy-san. I want to try it for real," she gave a little asian giggle and reached at Tommy's diaper.

Tommy squirmed away. "I think you're looking at the wrong guy, Kim."

Kimi was surprised, her Asian slut charms usually had worked in the past. "But I figured seeing as Chuckie-san is my new brother I probably shouldn't suck his wee-wee."

Chuckie and Tommy exchanged a glance - it was too soon to tell her the truth.

"Uhhhh, yeah," Chuckie said.

Then it was kind of awkward so Kimi excused herself to the kitchen to grab some juice, and it was there that she saw Dil, still sitting in the high chair.

"Hey there Dil-chan," she said sluttishly, sliding one of the straps of her yellow dress with the cat on it off. Dil squeaked happily in response, which she interpreted as consent.

Meanwhile, Angelica was leading Lil back to her house, it was funny because Lil didn't even really want Angelica's pussy anymore but she was bored enough to take it at this point, also she had a concussion so she was a little light-headed. Angelica was saying all this shit like "I know you're ready for this slut," and Lil honestly thought she kind of needed to chill, but it was aight for now.

They walked into Angelica's house to see Charlotte getting piledrived by Jonathan on his secretary desk. Lil was kind of surprised because she thought nigga was gay, but wasn't gonna say nothing about it. Angelica, on the other hand, proceeded to flip the fuck out.

"MAAAHHHH-MEEEEE," she wailed, tears streaming down her face. "YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULD NEVER GET WITH MEN OF- OF- OF COLOR!"

Back at the Pickles' house, Didi and Betty were about to be done scissoring like shit was getting hot and fast, but then Didi randomly started crying. Betty got a little impatient, "Deed what the fuck is up?"

Didi recoiled and started wailing hysterically, "MY HUSBAND JUST FOUND OUT I'M UNFAITHFUL, and remember how supportive I was for you when Howie died? Can't I get a fraction of that fucking sympathy?"

"Deed, your husband didn't _die."_

"YOU'RE SO INSENSITIVE," Didi screamed and ran out of the room. Betty just sighed and sat there naked because she didn't really give a fuck.

Meanwhile down in the kitchen, Kimi had just squirted all over Dil in the high chair, and was still sitting on top of him. Suddenly she felt a wet rough sensation at her ass, and for a moment was more turned on than she had ever been in her whole life. She looked behind her to see what Dil was pulling.

But instead the little Rugrats musical phrase associated with Spike doing something silly played, because it was just Spike under the table. "Ohh, Spike-chan!" Kimi laughed.


	9. You Weren't Expecting This Pairing

Seeing Angelica reduced to a whining heap of bitch baby was a huge turn off for Lil so she decided she was just gonna dip. She stealthily snuck back into the Pickles' house and popped back into the playpen.

Chuckie gasped "Woah Lil where did you come from?"

Lil pointedly ignored Chuckie because she didn't even like him to begin with.

Kimi walked over, stumbling a little as if she was kind of intoxicated, and smiled at Lil. "Lil-chan, now that there is 4 of us do you want to play a game of tentacle butthole tag desu?"

Lil was kinda freaked out but realized this might have been a move, so she was down, but then suddenly Betty came downstairs and plucked Lil off the ground.

"Come on Lil, I guess we're not _welcome _here anymore," she huffed. They walked out, and Lil could only catch one final glimpse of her budding purple-haired dericate rittle frowa as she was taken away.

Tommy turned to the other recurring characters, concerned. "What just happened with Lil's mommy?" he asked with heavy-handed sympathy.

"I don't know," Chuckie said nasally, "I guess when my mommy died of cancer my daddy acted weird for a while too."

Kimi had already tuned out at this point and wandered off for round 2 with Dil, leaving Chuckie and Tommy alone yet again. Tommy sighed.

"Chuckie, if you didn't suck wee-wee so good I would have to kick you to the curb because you're such a nerd" he said.

"I know," Chuckie said with shame, looking down at his oversized feet.

Meanwhile Didi had locked herself in the upstairs bathroom and turned the shower on to disguise the fact that she was doing white woman pills. She had hit a new rock bottom, now she felt completely unwanted by both genders. She snorted an oxycodone and thought about how she really owed Stu an apology, and how she had barely seen him over the events of this story anyway because he was doing shit in the basement.

Didi turned off the shower and decided she would go talk to her husband.

Elsewhere, Angelica was still crying like a faggot and ran up the stairs to tell her up-until-now unimportant father about what she had just seen. Half-dressed, Charlotte and Jonathan were running up the stairs to stop her, but in that ridiculously slow and useless way that adults usually run in Rugrats when they are chasing the babies.

She pounded on his bedroom door, which was seperate from Charlotte's for reasons Angelica had never considered. "DADDY!" she wailed. "MOMMY'S FUCKING JONATHAN!"

Angelica hit the door so hard that it popped open to reveal… he wasn't even there.

Meanwhile at the DeVille house, Lil was brought back to the crib where she discovered Phil was still tied up, there was nothing too interesting to do with him for the last few chapters.

"Lil could you please untie me?" Phil said pathetically. "Mistress did this to me and then I think she forgot about me forever." Tears started to well up in his eyes.

Lil scoffed. "Phil, you need a fucking reality check. Angelica is about as much of a domme as Chuckie goddamn Finster. She thinks she grown but really she a lil ass girl. And anyway," she explained as she untied him, "Angelica didn't even do this to you, it was me, so that I could have some hot lesbian sex with Angelica, which took about 3 seconds. She isn't nothing but a nymphomaniac slut whore."

Phil felt like a piece of shit for letting it get this far, but at the same time, this unexpected tirade from Lil turned him on in a really weird freaky way.

Before he could respond the doorbell rang. The twins watched from the crib as Betty, who was smashed as fuck, answered the door.

It was Stu Pickles.

Back in the Pickles house, Kimi was bummed after finding out Dil was asleep for a nap so Round 2 couldn't happen. Dejected and tipsy, she wandered through the living room where shocking new character grandpa Lou Pickles was watching some black-and-white show on the television.

"Hi, old man-san," Kimi said, cutely clutching her hands behind her back and tapping a foot.

Lou looked over to her and flashed back to his war days, where he ransacked many weak, probably underaged Oriental women in the towns they raided. Jesus, he had done some fucked up shit. Thankfully, Lou wasn't a pedophile so even Kimi's charming ways didn't get it up for him. The blow to Kimi's self confidence was immediate, and she ran off to cry in the bathroom.

The doorbell rang. Didi was at this point coming downstairs anyway to find Stu, but instead she went to get the door. It was Kira, Kimi's mom.

"I'm here to pick up Chuckie-chan and Kimi-chan," Kira said in that calm sexy way of hers. If Didi were not newly determined to turn her life around she would immediately be infatuated, but instead she just let Kira in. Didi excused herself to go down to the basement to find Stu.

Kira walked into the living room, where she saw Chuckie but not Kimi. "Where has Kimi-chan gone?" she asked Lou, who was sitting on the couch nearby.

"She's going to _cry," _Lou said, laughing. Then he turned to see who had actually asked the question, and got a boner immediately. Kira was so elegant and mystifying that Lou couldn't help himself. He grabbed Kira by the arm, pulled her onto the couch over his lap and started to rip her clothes off. Kira screamed but Lou didn't even care, also Tommy and Chuckie could see THE WHOLE THING.

Meanwhile, Didi was descending into the basement. "Stuuuu?" she called, her voice echoing through the vast, dark space. She fumbled around for a lightswitch, and when she finally found one she wasn't ready for what she saw. The basement that she had presumed was only for half-assed toy inventions and doing drugs was actually a sex dungeon. His toy invention table was covered in whips, paddles and other such equipment, and there were various straps on the walls and floor to restrain a submissive.

Didi was horrified, but before she could even begin to process her shock she heard a muffled cry. She turned around to see a small box that was shaking. She slowly approached it, and the shaking and crying grew more desperate.

She opened the box...


	10. Who's in the Box?

Lil and Phil watched as Betty passed Stu a cup of coffee. "Didi sucks ass," she said.

Stu nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I agree, I hate Didi."

"She's a crack whore, and also her pussy is loose," Betty said angrily.

"Yeah," Stu said sadly, not even caring that this enormous dyke had stolen his wife from him. All he wanted was revenge on Didi, she was a snake.

"So spill Stu, why are you here? I don't think you're trying to kill me because you've been here for a while and also because you're a pussy white guy and I'm like twice your size."

"I don't want to kill you Betty," Stu said defensively. "I just want Didi out of my life, and I want her out of yours too, because she's a crazy bitch."

"Yeah, nah, I don't fucks with that cunt anymore," Betty said as she flicked the ash off her cigarette.

"Okay good. I would leave her with the kids but honestly no matter how gay and annoying they are I don't want to leave them in the care of Didi's unstable lesbian vag."

"Right."

"Cool, so yeah, I was thinking I would maybe just hook up with some other bitch and marry her so that Didi goes insane and kills herself. That jive with you?"

Betty stared at him for a second as she blew smoke over her coffee cup. "Dang. No, I guess I wouldn't care."

Then Stu reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a wad of money. "I have a proposition."

Back in Angelica's house, Angelica was still crying like a faggot. Charlotte bit her lip in anger, she didn't want to have to deal with this now.

"Jonathan, go away," she barked, and Jonathan dipped. "Angelica, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about where Daddy went but truthfully I didn't think you would care, you're kind of a heartless bitch."

"I don't c-c-care about him," Angelica sniveled. Really she was just a white supremacist and was pissed that now this sand nigger was going to be her new daddy.

"Well good," Charlotte said, "because I've been paying someone to keep him imprisoned, because I got bored of him and didn't want to deal with his ass."

Meanwhile in the Pickles' basement, Didi looked inside the box to find…

A completely naked Chaz Finster.

He was very surprised to see her and was all like "Raaaaaaaoww." He meant to say 'wow' but he has some sort of speech impediment. "I, uhm, wasn't expecting you."

Didi put the pieces together quickly, but her head was still spinning. "So Stu was… a faggot."

Chaz stood up shamefully, revealing his embarrassingly small dickie, and nodded. "Yes."

"How long have you been down here?"

"Well, about as long as we've been back from Paris, but while we were in Paris he kept me in a different box, and before that I was down here for a while too," Chaz recounted. "Please don't tell Kira, I really love her."

"How have you even had any time to be with her? And aren't you gay with Stu anyway?"

"Well excuse me, I know it's easy to put people in boxes when you just like to munch coochie, but I am a polyamorous bisexual, and I will not be oppressed by your monosexual privilege," Chaz said defiantly as he got back in the box and closed it.

Meanwhile at the DeVille's house, Stu put the wad of money down on the table. "Don't ask me how I got this money, but if I were to, say, give it to you, could we maybe pose as a married couple, dress my kids up as your kids, and make Didi look like a crazy bitch in court so that she is out of the way?"

Betty thought for half a sec, then took the wad of cash and put it between her boobs underneath her purple sweater with the female sign on it. "Only if there's more where that came from."

Stu took her hand to shake it, but then got burned by the cigarette she was holding. Almost like it was a bad omen.

Over at the crib, Phil gasped at what they had just heard. "Oh my god, Tommy's daddy is gonna kill his mommy or something! What do we do?"

Lil rolled her eyes lazily. "I think this one is kind of out of our hands, Phil."

Back in the Pickles' living room, Chuckie had gotten uncomfortable watching Lou rape his new Asian mommy so he excused himself to the bathroom, but when he opened the door he found Kimi slitting her wrists.

"Shit nigga-chan, can I get some privacy?" Kimi said as she hurriedly hid her razor and hid her wrists behind her.

"Are you okay Kimi? I think your arm is bleeding," said Chuckie stupidly.

"Shut up Chuckie, you don't even know me," Kimi said as she walked past him out of the bathroom. She walked into the living room and saw her mom getting raped, and shook her head. "Mom, you suck at getting raped."

She threw a block from the playpen at Lou's head and knocked him out cold, then grasped her mother's hand and led her out, even though Kira's dress was all ripped on account of the raping. "We are so out of here," Kimi said as they left.

Lou lay asleep naked on the couch, snoring like he always did. Tommy shrugged. "Oh well."

That night Angelica tried to sleep. She tried to calm her mind with thoughts of Lil's succulent asshole, or Phil's pitiful subservience to her, but her mind kept going back to that one visual, her mom getting rammed by Jonathan. This couldn't go on. She had to do something.


	11. Trapped

The next day, Lil woke up in the crib like normal, only something was different. She looked around at the walls and saw that they were in a much smaller room that she had never seen. It was mostly empty, with bare wooden walls and chipped wood on the floor with insulation puffing out at the sides, like that shit is full of asbestos. She shook Phil awake.

"Phillip," she said nervously, "where are we?"

Phil looked around, confused. "I don't know."

Meanwhile at Angelica's house, Angelica was acting cool like nothing happened the next day, because she knew that if she didn't make a big deal out of it her mom would be malleable.

"Mommy," she said as she powered down a box of cookies while watching Rock of Love Bus, "Can you get me some McDonald's?"

Charlotte lowered her cell phone from her ear and said, "Sweetie I'm kind of busy right now, but I can send Jonathan to do it."

Angelica put on that extra disingenuous begging voice. "But Mommy, I really want _you _to do it, because the foreign workers will probably misunderstand Jonathan's accent and fuck up my order."

Charlotte sighed and hung up on the faceless work person she was talking to. She owed Angelica for not ratting on her about the whole having her husband kidnapped thing. So she was just like "Fine," and walked out the do.

Angelica looked over at Jonathan, who was faggily filing his nails at his secretary desk which was conveniently located in the living room. Now was her chance.

Elsewhere, Kira was having a lot of difficulty dealing with the trauma from getting raped and really wasn't feeling taking care of her children, so she drove Chuckie and a reluctant Kimi over to the Pickles's house so she could dump them there, even though her rapist lived within that very house. I guess she was new to the country and didn't really know anyone else yet.

Kira rang the buzzy doorbell and Didi opened the door with bags under her eyes, looking hungover as fuck. "Are you okay, Didi-san?" Kira asked with concern.

"It's been a rough day," Didi replied realizing she didn't know this woman's name, so she guessed "Kathy."

Kira was too kind to correct her, and also considered the fact that maybe she should talk out what happened to her with a fellow woman. "Do you want to talk about it?" she said as she pulled a bag of weed out of her pocket.

Didi smiled weakly. "Okay, come upstairs with me." Kira dropped Kimi and Chuckie in the playpen with Tommy whose storyline is not interesting enough to revisit right now, and followed Didi upstairs.

A few hours had passed and Phil and Lil were still just sitting there, and then finally Betty arrived, coming up a hole in the floor. "Hey kids," she said casually as she tossed a 2-liter of Pepsi, a bag of Cheetos and a box of Hamburger Helper into the crib. "So, you're probably not gonna understand this but, long story short, you're gonna have to stay up here in the attic for the next few days, and like I'm not gonna be able to come up and check on you that often. Don't worry, it's nothing personal, it's just I don't want to get a job, sorry." She went back down the hole in the floor, latching a door shut behind her.

Phil and Lil looked at each other, bewildered. They were all they had now. They were… trapped.

Back at the Pickles house, as Kira and Didi were getting hella blazed upstairs, Stu came in the front door all quiet so they didn't hear. He ran into the kitchen and snatched Dil from his high chair, then ran into the living room and snatched Tommy from the playpen.

Tommy yelped in protest. "Chuckie!"

"Where are you going Tommy?" Chuckie asked like an idiot.

Stu was out the door in seconds, both of his children in hand. Kimi looked at Chuckie. "For fuck's sake, even when we come here I still get stuck with your nerd ass."

Meanwhile upstairs, Didi had just told Kira everything that had just happened to her - except the fact that she had found Chaz in a box downstairs. "Damn, that's pretty fucked up desu," Kira said before she hit the blunt.

"I never thought Stu was hiding as much from me as I was from him," Didi said thoughtfully. "Maybe if we had just both been honest we could have worked something out."

Kira passed Didi the blunt. "Men are animals, they can't be honest. Kimi's father knocked me up to get on French 16 and Pregnant on the racial minority gambit, and then left me as soon as he got his money's worth."

"Dang," Didi said.

"Yeah, it may not look like it but I'm really only 18 years old," Kira said.

"I mean I'd believe it, Asian don't crack anyway."

"What? I do crack."

"No, I meant Asian women stay hot until they old."

"Oh," Kira said, kind of flattered. Ever since she had been raped she wasn't really taken with the idea of men anyway. She had heard from Chaz that Didi was a dyke slut, and realized now might be the best time to explore. "Didi-chan…?" she asked slowly, putting on her shy little Asian girl face.

Didi took the bait, putting her big meaty Jewish hand on Kira's thigh.

Angelica checked herself in the bathroom mirror one last time. She had to look perfect if she wanted this to work. "Cynthia, if this isn't the best make-up job I've ever done I swear for _God."_

She strutted down the hallway, and in the sexiest voice she could muster called, "Hey Jonathan, can you come help me with something?"

Jonathan got up from his desk and looked down the hallway, and gasped.

Angelica looked like a woman, wearing a bangin black slip that showed hella cleavage and some subtle crack-whore red lipstick. "I was wondering if you could help me with something…" she cooed, as her lace panties dropped to the floor.


	12. The Time Jump

While Angelica's assumption that people of Jonathan's race would have sex with an underage girl was completely racist, she was actually right in this instance, and when Charlotte returned from McDonald's with a bag of nugger in one hand and an Oreo shake in the other and saw the scene, she promptly threw the Oreo shake at his Arab ass and fired him angrily, warning him that he'd be hearing from her lawyer.

Meanwhile, Stu brought Tommy and Dil to the DeVille house. He and Betty settled them into Phil and Lil's old room. "This is our new home, kids!" Stu told them. They dressed the babies in Phil and Lil's outfits, and after some consideration put a bow on Dil. "He's just a baby so he probably won't remember this and turn out gay," Stu reasoned.

Tommy was very confused as far as what was going on, but considering nobody was there for him to have dialogue with since Dil is a fucking idiot, we're not gonna worry about that for now.

With that matter settled, this is an appropriate moment for a bit of a time jump, let's say a week passes. Didi has been so busy scissoring Kira all day that she has failed to realize her children have been gone, because she's still on hella drugs. The only ones left chillin in the playpen were Chuckie, Kimi and Angelica, which made for a pretty awkward dynamic, and while Angelica often considered pursuing he sprite-like purple-haired chinkess always jumpin around and shit, her pussy was still pretty sure from having an actual adult size penis inside of it, so for once she chilled on the sex. Chaz is still in the box, forgotten. Stu and Betty are roommates now, mostly keeping to themselves but also doing hella drugs, as Tommy and Dil remain in their Phil and Lil disguises.

Up in the attic, Phil and Lil had long finished off the bag of Cheetos (and I mean the literal bag, because they nasty) and were subsisting on a diet of pee-pee and the termites they found crawling up the wall. A few days before they had grown delirious from the claustrophobia and smell of feces in the crib, so they broke down the bars and had been roaming the attic freely.

Their bodies were starting to change, too. Lil's breasts began to bud, and Phil grew his first pube. Phil began to yearn desperately for Angelica's iron grip on his balls, while Lil ached for the sweet breeze of lips on her pussy.

That night, Phil and Lil made a cute little fire by rubbing the broken wooden bars of the crib together. They broke little skewers off to roast termites and little pieces of asbestos, which Phil was convinced was marshmallows.

They stayed up late, huddling together for warmth in the cold attic. Lil rested her head on her brother's shoulder. "Phillip," she asked after a long silence. "Are you in love with An-jelly-ka?"

"No," Phillip said, a little surprised to have been asked. "I don't deserve to be in love with her. She's better than I could ever be," he started to tear up a little.

"Phillip, I've been trying to tell you, An-jelly-ka is a crazy bitch, and I know that she broke your balls brutally but that doesn't mean that you're really worth nothing," Lil said compassionately, "because nothing is worth anything to her, well, except that dildo Cynthia."

"I guess you're right," Phil said, feeling a little better. He couldn't believe that he had nearly forgotten about Lil while being Angelica's slave - Lil was his best friend.

Just then the smoke alarm in the house went off, and while at first Betty was convinced she had set it off because she had smoked mad meth and was hella high, but then she smelled the odor of burning wood and followed it up to the attic.

Betty exploded through the hole in the floor and yanked the twins off the ground. "You stupid little shits," she spat, "you're going to get me caught. I swear to God if ANYBODY finds out you're up here…" she threw Phil on the ground, and then used her free hand to smack Lil right across the face. Then she threw Lil on the ground too, put out the fire with a large loogie, and disappeared back down the hole.

The twins both sat there crying.

"Our mommy hates us," Phil wailed.

"I'm so fucking sober," Lil choked, feeling the bruise on her cheek. "And our mom has some strong ass dyke hands."

They collapsed into each others arms, not noticing that through the one tiny window in the attic, someone was watching them from the backyard. Someone… with fins.


	13. Rapetar

Angelica was growing bored with the lame-ass playpen dynamic so she decided today she would shake it up. Charlotte dropped her off and she awoke Chuckie and Kimi from their catatonic state of irrelevance to the plot.

"Hey Fagsters," she said with the tone that foreshadowed she had something new and questionable to show them. "Wanna try something fun today?"

"Sure Angelica-chan, ever since Dil-kun disappeared I've had nothing fun to do, except some lickie lickie from Spike," Kimi replied enthusiastically.

"Speaking of which, we haven't seen Tommy, Phil or Lil in like fiveleven days now, maybe we should try to find them," Chuckie said nervously.

"Honestly, none of them were ever that interesting to me desu," Kimi admitted.

"Never mind that, I have something fifty times more fun than riding baby dickie," Angelica said snootily. She reached into the pocket of her purple dress and pulled out a bag of psychedelic mushrooms.

Kimi grabbed for the bag hungrily. "Hey, don't stretch those scars on your wrist back open Kai-lan," Angelica took a shit on Kimi's life.

"Kimi, I don't know if this is a good-"

Before he could finish his pussy ass catchphrase Kimi stuffed some mushrooms in his mouth. Angelica clittled, this would be a fun day.

The doorbell rang at the DeVille house. Stu, who was sipping a forty on the couch while watching Rock of Love Bus, peeked behind the curtain to see a well-dressed fish lady wearing sunglasses and holding a clipboard at the door.

"Betty, hide your meth," Stu called, "someone official-looking is here."

They assembled at the door a convenient twenty seconds later, and opened the door.

"Hello," the fish said amicably. "Is this the DeVille residence?"

"Yes it is," Betty said animatedly, she was on cocaine.

"So you would be Betty and Howie?"

Betty looked down for a second. "Actually, Howie passed a few weeks ago."

The fish lady acted like she didn't know that already and frowned. "I'm sorry to hear that," she said, then turned to Stu. "So this is…"

"I'm Stu, Betty's new husband," Stu said quickly, shaking the fish's hand.

"My name is Lisa Yellowtail, and I'm just here to follow up on a neighborhood complaint," the fish explained.

Betty's heart started racing. "What kind of complaint?"

"We received a report that there was a lot of screaming, and children crying, coming from this house," the fish answered. "Do you mind if I see your children Phil and Lil?"

"Not at all," Stu said calmly, picking up that Betty was freaking out a little bit.

Meanwhile in the attic, the real Phil and Lil were beginning to show signs of malnourishment. Phil, who once had the makings to grow into an elementary school fatass, now had ribs sticking out of his chest; Lil had stopped getting her period, but then she remembered she was a baby and never had got it in the first place.

By that day Phil's diaper had like, 30 shits stuffed into his diaper so he decided that he should maybe take it off. "Look away Lillian, I gotta change my diapey."

"But Phillip, mommy didn't give us any new diapeys to change into," Lil pointed out.

"That's okay, I can just eat the poopy off of this one, and make it clean."

"Okay," Lil turned around, but after a few seconds she felt the strangest urge, the urge to turn around and look. Phil may have been her brother, but now he was the only other human in her life, and she knew that he was a human too, and that they both had needs. These feelings confused her a lot, especially because she thought she was a full-on dyke. But today, she had to fight to stop herself from turning around to look.

"Hey Lillian," Phil's voice jabbed right through her cloud of thought.

Lil blushed, not sure if she should turn around yet. "What?"

"Want some poopy?"

Downstairs Betty and Stu got finished showing Tommy and Dil in their disguises to the fish lady, and after there was nothing of note she told them disappointedly that she was sorry she wasted their time and that perhaps they would receive a call from the city in the next few days.

As soon as the door shut behind her, Officer Nancy cussed under her breath. She wanted so badly to pull out her gun and shoot some shit. _Be patient, Nancy, _she thought to herself, thinking back to how good it felt to shoot Buster Carmichael skraight in the head. She would get her chance.

Elsewhere, Kira and Didi were doing some gay ass Asian watercoloring art, because Kira always brought over intellectual books or fun little crafts for them to do between scissoring. It was all really just to convince Kira that Didi was a true friend and not just a slut, but Didi found some wholesome enjoyment with them as well, as her only hobbies previously had been drugs.

"You make me feel so cultured, Kira-chan," Didi said happily.

Kira hit the blunt. "You have been so busy being a mother you haven't had the chance to be a woman, Didi-chan."

Downstairs, Angelica and the Finsters were starting to trip the fuck out, they were sitting on the couch next to a sleeping Lou watching Cynthia Work-Out videos which were very visually stimulating. Angelica and Kimi were sinking into the couch next to each other, having a very good time both having done their fair share of hallucinogens, and were inching ever-closer to the point of getting a little handsy, while Chuckie uncomfortably sat on the edge of his seat, clutching his knees.

He was having a terrible trip, Cynthia's eyes were staring through his soul and judging all of his mistakes and insecurities. He felt bloated and disgusted, and kept looking at his pale ass sausage hands. He relived all of the shame he had ever felt about his and Tommy's gay relationship, all of the shame toward being the constant nerd of the group. He started rocking back and forth and started freaking the fuck out. He looked to his left and instead of Grandpa Lou, he saw Reptar sitting on the couch, and Reptar turned at him and roared. Chuckie screamed really melodramatically like he usually does, and ran away.

Suddenly everything was dark and trippy like it usually is on Rugrats when the babies are running away from something scary, let's say it looked like a forest. Chuckie was running away from Reptar, all huffing because he was out of breath, and then he tripped over a root. On the ground he turned to see Reptar towering over him, and screamed again, God I can hear it in my head now that scream was annoying, and then Reptar grabbed him and slammed him onto a tree stump.

Then Reptar started raping him.

Angelica and Kimi didn't even know where they were anymore so they hadn't even realized Chuckie had gone running down the street, but at this point they were making out. Grandpa Lou woke up to this, but pretended to still be asleep because despite his lack of pedophilic urges in past chapters he thought lesbians were pretty hot. He placed a hand on Kimi's ass without no one noticing, and laughed all like "Heh heh heh."


	14. Gaping Hole

The next day up in the attic, it was a hot hot morning. Phil was dreaming, he was having a crazy dream where he was fucking a human-sized Cynthia, she was sucking his dick and her mouth was warm and plasticky.

Lil lazily opened her eyes, completely famished. She tried to pick herself up to pick some more termites out of the walls to munch on but it was just too hard to get up - she felt weaker than she had ever in her life. So she just kept laying there.

In the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of a small purple speck; her vision was blurry so she couldn't make out what it was. She suddenly felt driven to go see what it was, obsessing over the fact that she had never seen anything of that color in the attic before. She got up with a grunt of exhaustion, jumped down from the crib and walked toward the object, which she could now see was a flower. She picked it up off the ground and realized it was only fabric, a small piece of purple floral print cut out of something.

Lil felt the soft flower in her hands, it was soft, almost like a pussy. She turned it over, caressing it, and saw that a word was written very small in red on the other side: _Soon._

Phil tangled his fingers in one of Cynthia's sticky-out hair things, moaning, then reached down to help her pull her dress off of her so he could see her plastic doll titties.

He pulled the dress over her face, but when her face came out the other side, it wasn't Cynthia, it was _Lil. _He woke with a yelp, with hella morning wood.

Lil turned around to look at him. "What's wrong, Phil?"

"Uh, nothing," Phil stammered, his face flushed.

Downstairs, the new DeVille family was having a regular morning, Stu was doing whipits over a bowl of Cheerios as Betty did lines and poured some dog chow into two bowls.

Tommy and Dil ate one peanut each for breakfast, sitting in high chairs. Tommy was unsettled. He didn't like this new home, at least in his old house his parents did all their crazy drugs behind closed doors, also he could tell that Dil was indeed divining his gender identity from his Lil disguise and as becoming a faggot. He wondered what happened to Phil and Lil, he figured they were probably dead, but by this point he noticed that Betty was keeping something else alive somewhere in the house.

Betty grabbed the two bowls of dog food and dipped to bring them to the twins, and Stu sighed. He agreed to this to ruin Didi's life and he hadn't even heard from Didi, he realized her drug addicted dyke ass probably hadn't even noticed the kids were gone. Child abuse was not funny, he reflected as he watched Dil suck on his peanut, which the shell was still on. When he finally managed to break it off Dil said his first word: "Yasssssss."

A single tear rolled down Stu's cheek. This had gone too far.

Chuckie woke up with his head buried in sand. He yanked it out to discover he was in the sandbox at the recurring park; he spat the sand out of his mouth. He had no idea how he had got here; he couldn't remember anything about the previous night except for that hard, scaly penis being pushed up inside of him, breaking him. Also there was sand in his pants that was getting all in his mangled asshole and stinging, so he was all like "I got sand in my pants" and ran around like an idiot.

Back upstairs, Lil's stomach growled. "I'm so hungry," she whined.

Phil was so insanely horny from not getting any in a week that at this point, his inhibitions were crumbling down, and he couldn't stop thinking about his dream. He subtly crawled toward Lil in the crib. "I think I have something you can eat," he said, his voice cracking.

"What?"

"My dick," he said, whipping his dick out of his diaper.

Before Lil could even react, Betty appeared through the hole in the floor with the two bowls of dog food. "You taking a pee-pee, Phil?" she grunted. "Keep it in the diaper, it already smells like Howie's crotch thing up here." She put the two bowls on the floor and went back downstairs.

Immediately Phil threw himself onto the floor like a bitch and ate out of the bowl like an actual dog. Lil saw then and there that her brother was truly a pathetic sissy slave, of course this isn't a story about incest. She shook her head.

Back at the Pickles house, Angelica and Kimi were abruptly awoken by Chuckie walking in the front door. They were both naked, and quickly surmised that they must have fucked. Kimi pulled a blanket over them in anticipation of someone coming.

Chuckie ran over to them, all out of breath. "You guys," he squawked, panting, "Last night I got raped by Reptar!"

Angelica and Kimi broke out into laughter. "What a pussy faggot," Kimi said.

That night somewhere in a dark parking garage, Stu hid behind a pillar wearing a trenchcoat, a large hat, and a surgical mask to cover his face. He couldn't believe he had come here but something had to be done.

A voice echoed from a fair distance away. "Gaping Hole? Are you here?"

Stu walked out from behind the pillar, revealing himself. "Yes, I am Gaping Hole."

Officer Nancy approached him. "I understand you have information for me regarding the DeVille case?"

"Yes," Stu whispered, his voice muffled by the surgical mask. "The two kids they showed you are not their real kids. Their real kids have been locked up in the attic for more than a week, barely being fed or cared for, they need to be saved. Betty DeVille is a monster, also she's fat and does illegal drugs."

Officer Nancy narrowed her eyes. "That's all I need to hear." She felt her gun on her belt, her vagina moistening.


	15. Kill Nancy

Lil knew someone was coming. She pretended to sleep all day, mostly because she didn't want to talk to Phil's miserable ass after his pathetic sexual advance on her but also to bide her strength. She was ready to run. Night fell and still she was waiting, turning the purple fabric flower around in her hand.

Suddenly, a dark masked figure crashed in through the window, having an almost orgasmic effect on Lil, like the window was her pussy. She got up and turned to see who it was.

He or she took off the mask...

Meanwhile, Officer Nancy pounded at the front door. "OPEN UP," she hollered with lust-fueled anger. She already had her gun in her other hand and her gooch was shaking. Stu, of course, had vacated the scene; Betty, however, was snoring like a manatee and didn't even hear Nancy.

But Tommy and Dil had heard, and in a brief moment of rationality and clarity Tommy turned to his rapidly-faggifying little brother and said "We need to get out of here, I don't think it's safe."

Since Dil couldn't walk Tommy dragged him down the hall toward the back door, where Tommy hoped they could sneak out. "Yas mama drag me," Dil moaned, and Tommy suddenly had a strong urge to leave him behind.

Lil shook Phil awake. "Phillip, wake up, we have to go."

Phil burped and it smelled like dog food, and slowly opened his eyes. "Whaa?"

"Nigga did she stutter? This is a matter of seconds. Do you want miss white devil fish to put you into foster care?"

This was the voice of a black girl. Phil turned around and was shocked to see Susie Carmichael.

"Susie, I thought you were in jail probably for life!"

Susie narrowed her eyes. "I have a score to settle. Now let's get you out of here," she said, undoing her little pink bows and pulling her hair out to a length of roughly twenty feet. She tossed it out of the window she came in through. "Climb down."

The twins carefully climbed down Susie's hair, safely reaching the ground below. Just as they got there, Tommy and Dil popped out of the back door. "Phil and Lil!" Tommy said excitedly, although neither of the twins cared because this was clearly a very climactic moment.

Susie called down to the four babies from the attic window. "Y'all need to get somewhere safe like Tommy's house, nobody can know y'all were here."

"Aren't you coming with us Susie?" Lil called up, feeling the little purple flower cut from the black girl's yellow dress in her pocket.

But Susie had already turned around and walked away.

Meanwhile at the Pickles house, Didi awoke at the gentle sound of Kira's Asian voice. "Wake up, Didi." She was confused that Kira was waking her up in the middle of the night, but then she saw that Kira was holding a gun to her face. Didi screamed.

"Didi Pickles-san, you're under arrest for doing many drugs desu, not taking care of your kids, and you're just fucked up in the head," Kira said, showing Didi her badge in the other hand.

"You were a cop the whole time?" Didi asked bewildered.

"Trolled."

Back at the DeVille house, Nancy had finally broken down the door, wielding her gun, looking for Betty. "Come out, you degenerate dyke!" Nancy barked. She advanced toward Betty's bedroom, but Betty was ready for her, having been woken up by the sound of the door breaking down, and jumped on her from the doorway. Betty used her enormous physical size to her advantage, ramming Officer Nancy into a wall and dragging her around like a ragdoll.

But as soon as Nancy got her grip back on her gun, she shot straight at Betty's vagina.

Betty cried like a horse being branded, doubling over and falling to the floor where blood poured out of her vagina like she was miscarrying. Officer Nancy held the gun to Betty's head. "YOU FUCKING CHILD ABUSER!"

"Hold up one second, Officer."

Nancy turned to see Susie standing at the other end of the hallway, pointing a gun at Nancy as the Kill Bill siren sound effect happened.

Nancy turned her gun at Susie but she was too slow, as Susie had already shut it down, shut it down, and shot a bullet right through Nancy's gill. Nancy gasped for air, but then realized that she can't breathe air anyway, and disintegrated into dust.

Susie turned to Betty. "You're gonna want to get the fuck out of town, bitch."

Lil ran down the sidewalk through the night air, tasting freedom. It was finally over, she had been saved. It felt like the first time Susie licked her pussy. And not only did she now owe Susie her life, she also felt like she owed her some equally good head.


End file.
